CrazyKens.com

To The Point 

is excited to offer
the ultimate adventure cruise
along the pirate-infested coast of
Somalia!

We board our
luxury cruise ship
in
Djibouti
on the Gulf of Aden
near the entrance to the
Red Sea, 

and disembark in 

Mombasa , Kenya 

seven adrenaline-charged days later.

Cruise ship


Map

Starting at $5,200 per-person 

(double occupancy, inside room) 

and 

$6,900 

(veranda complete with bench rest), 

you'll relax like never before.

Room

That's because you are welcome to bring 

your own arsenal with you.  

If you don't have your own weapons, 

you can rent them from our 

onboard Master Gunsmith. 

Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon 

with skeet and marksmanship competitions 

every night!

But the best fun of all, of course, 

is Pirate Target Practice.

 
For the object of the cruise
is to sail up and down the Somali Coast
waiting to get hijacked by pirates. 

The weapons rental costs are as follows.

Rent a full auto
M-16 for only
$25/day with ammo
attractively priced at
$16 per 100 rounds of
5.56 armor-piercing:

M 16

On a budget?
Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only
$9/day
with 7.62 ball ammo at
$12 per 100 rounds:

AK-47

Hello!
Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a
Barrett M-107 50-cal sniper rifle;
only
$59/day
with 25 rounds of
armor-piercing ammo
affordably priced at only
$29.95.

M-107

Need a spotter?
Our professional crew members can double as spotters
for only $30/hour
(spotting scope included, but gratuities are not.)

Spotters

Want to make a real impact? 
Rent an RPG for only
$175/day
with three fragmentation rounds included!

RPGs

Also included: 
Free complimentary night vision equipment -
and throughout the night,
coffee, pastries and snacks
are always available on the main deck
from 7pm until 6am.

Our deluxe package comes complete with
gourmet meals
and all rooms offer a mini-bar.

But that's not all!
Twin mounted miniguns
 are available for rental at only
$450.00 per 30 seconds
of sustained fire!

Twin mini guns

We guarantee that you will experience at least
two hijacking attempts by pirates
or you'll receive an instant
$1,000 refund
upon arrival in Mombasa.

How can we make that guarantee?
We operate at 5 knots
just beyond 12 nautical miles
off the coast of Somalia ,
thus in international waters
where pirates have no rights whatever.
In fact,
we make three passes through the area's most
treacherous waters
to ensure maximum visibility by Somali
"mother ships".

We repeat this for five days,
making three complete passes past the entire
Somali Coast . 
At night,
the boat is fully lit and
 bottle rockets are shot every five minutes
with loud disco music
directionally beamed shoreside to attract
maximum attention.

Lights and disco as loud as hell

Testimonials from previous participants in the
Somali Cruise:


"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected.
I bagged three pirates,
my wife nailed two,
and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun.
This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family"
-- Fred D., Cincinnati , OH --

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32!
Well worth the trip!
Can't recommend it highly enough!"
-- Ben L., Bethesda , MD --

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in ' Nam .
Don't worry about getting shot by pirates...
they never even got close to the ship
with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim...
reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner
we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!"
 -- Dan J. - Denver , CO --

Pirates

Come on board
and bag your own clutch of genuine
Somali pirates! 
But cabin space is limited
so you need to respond quickly. 
Reserve your package before May 31st
and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo
in the caliber of your choice. 
So sign up for the
Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise
 now!
Cruise Ship
 

Sign up here

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