This is an actual letter sent to a man named
Ryan DeVries regarding a
pond on his property
It was sent by the
Department of Environmental Quality,
State of Pennsylvania.
This guy's response is hilarious,
but read the State's letter
you get to the response letter.
|SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023;
Department of Environmental Quality
that there has been recent unauthorized activity
on the above referenced parcel of property.
You have been certified as the
legal landowner and/or contractor
who did the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance
of two wood debris dams
the outlet stream
of Spring Pond.
prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the Department's files shows that
no permits have been issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined
that this activity is in violation of Part 301,
Inland Lakes and Streams,
of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act,
Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994,
being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of
Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.
one or both of the dams partially failed during a
recent rain event,
causing debris and flooding at
We find that dams of this nature are inherently
cannot be permitted.
cease and desist all activities at this location,
and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition
by removing all wood and brush
forming the dams from the stream channel.
All restoration work shall be completed
later than January 31, 2008.
has been completed so that a follow-up
site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with this request
or any further unauthorized activity on the site
may result in this case being referred
for elevated enforcement action..
We anticipate and would appreciate
your full cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office
have any questions.
and Water Management Division.
Here is the actual response sent back by
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W,
been handed to me to
the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane,
Run, Pennsylvania .
process of constructing
and maintaining two wood "debris"
dams across the outlet stream of my
While I did not pay for,
authorize, nor supervise their dam project,
I think they would be highly offended
that you call their skillful use of
building materials "debris."
attempt to emulate their
any time and/or any place you choose.
I believe I can safely state
there is no way you could ever match their
their dam resourcefulness,
their dam ingenuity,
their dam persistence,
their dam determination
their dam work ethic.
As to your request,
I do not think the beavers are aware
that they must first fill out a
prior to the start of this type of
throughout this State
conform to said dam request?
through the Freedom of Information Act,
I request completed copies of all those
other applicable beaver
that have been issued.
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams,
Public Acts of 1994,
being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113
My first concern is,
aren't the beavers entitled to
The Spring Pond Beavers are
financially destitute and are
unable to pay for said representation --
so the State will have to provide them
with a dam lawyer.
that either one or both of the
during a recent rain event,
is proof that
this is a natural occurrence,
which the Department is required to protect.
In other words,
we should leave the
Spring Pond Beavers alone
rather than harassing them
calling them dam names.
dam free-flow condition
please contact the beavers --
but if you are going to arrest them,
they obviously did not pay any attention
being unable to read English.
the Spring Pond Beavers
have a right to build their
as long as the sky is blue,
the grass is green
and water flows downstream.
They have more dam rights than I do
to live and enjoy
If the Department of
and Environmental Protection
lives up to its name,
it should protect the natural resources
and the environment
beavers and I are concerned,
can be referred for more
elevated enforcement action
Why wait until 1/31/2008?
The Spring Pond Beavers
may be under the dam ice then
and there will be no way
for you or your
staff to contact/harass them.
I would like to bring to your attention
to a real environmental quality,
health, problem in the area.
It is the bears! Bears are actually
defecating in our woods.
I definitely believe you should be
persecuting the defecating bears
and leave the beavers alone.
If you are going to investigate
the beaver dam,
watch your step!
The bears are not careful
and being unable to contact you
dam answering machine,
I am sending this response to your
THE DAM BEAVERS
Crazy Web Pages