Ponderisms




Can you cry under water?
 

How important does a person have to be
before they are considered assassinated
instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to
"put your two cents in"..
But it's only a
"penny for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to?
 

Once you're in heaven,
do you get stuck
wearing the clothes you were buried in
for eternity?

Why does a round pizza
come in a square box?
 

What disease
did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we
put man on the moon
before we figured out
it would be a good idea
to put wheels on luggage?



Why is it that people say they
"slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like
every two hours?



If a deaf person has to go to court,
is it still called a hearing?

 



Why are you IN a movie,
but you're ON TV?

 



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings
and then put money in binoculars
to look at things
on the ground?

 



Why do doctors
leave the room while you change?
They're going to see
you naked anyway.


Why is
"bra"
singular and
"panties"
plural?


Why do toasters always have a setting
that burns the toast
to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being
would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn
and no one cares,
why is there a
stupid song
about him?


Can a hearse carrying a corpse
drive in the carpool lane ?


If the professor
on Gilligan's Island
can make a radio
out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole
in a boat?


Why does Goofy stand erect
while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!




If Wile E. Coyote had enough money
to buy all that ACME crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn,
and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?


Do the Alphabet song and
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing
the two songs above?


Why do they call it an asteroid
when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid
when it's in your butt?


Did you ever notice that when you
blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?


Do you ever wonder why
you gave me a link to you
in the first place?

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